![]() And that hindsight is a wonderful thing when we reflect on our experiences of a seemingly avoidable encounter but all things being equal, what if we could utilise a pro-active strategy when we engage in a potentially toxic conversation? Well, there is a glimmer of hope if we understand how to become reflexive. We have already established that our ability to prevent conflict is often outstripped by our propensity to engage in it. ‘Steering-away’ from militaristic analogies for the time being (only my Paratrooper comrades will identify this as an oxymoron), a workplace culture is a well-known arena for conflict to fester. However which way this armistice is founded is ostensibly academic the case in point here is that a cease-fire is a reactive act as opposed to a pro-active one. Generally, it can only be thwarted after there is a demonstrable period of reflection and compromise aimed at seeking reconciliation and eventual peace. The human condition within its toolkit has a mechanism for conflict. If this were the case, we would not, as sovereign nations, require the service of a defence force as there would be nobody inclined to attack us! ![]() Obviously there is no hard and fast rule to this emotional turbulence, nor is there any explanation available at the time of a flash-point that calls upon us to switch our arc of fire away from the battle in which we have erroneously engaged. The ability to contain our emotions very much depends on us as individuals, the given circumstance, and what hooks us in. ![]() Emotional Arcs of FireĪny out of the ordinary reaction to an event is as a result of the tug-of-war between our rational thought processes and our emotional brain (as featured in my earlier blog, The Green Cross Code). Whether you fall into any of these categories is largely irrelevant, for they all share the same common trait, which I term ‘the emotional tipping point’. you will find it becomes easier with practise and the end result could be a happier and more efficient you.What do we do when we just can’t take anymore? Some of us completely unplug our minds, others explode into a state of hysteria some of us bang our heads against walls, others run away to the sanctuary of the bar to buy a stiff drink, whilst the tee-total amongst us drink the equivalent strength of an alcohol beverage in coffee. Solutions – What could I do to improve in these areas?Īlthough self reflection can seem difficult at first, or even selfish or embarrassing, as it does not come naturally.Happiness – Are there things that I am unhappy with or disappointed about? What makes me happy?.Problems – What problems are there at work/home that may affect me? For example, responsibilities or distractions that may impact on study or work.Skills – What skills do I have and what am I good at?.Weaknesses – What are my weaknesses? For example, am I easily distracted? Do I need more practise with a particular skill?.Strengths – What are my strengths? For example, am I well organised? Do I remember things?.Thinking about your own skills can help you identify changes you might need to make. When we learn we can become stuck in a routine that may not be working effectively. You wouldn’t use a recipe a second time around if the dish didn’t work the first time would you? You would either adjust the recipe or find a new and, hopefully, better one. In any role, whether at home or at work, reflection is an important part of learning. It is about questioning, in a positive way, what you do and why you do it and then deciding whether there is a better, or more efficient, way of doing it in the future. Reflecting helps you to develop your skills and review their effectiveness, rather than just carry on doing things as you have always done them. Reflecting and composing a piece of self reflective writing is becoming an increasingly important element to any form of study or learning. ![]() To put it simply ‘reflection’ means to think about something. It is a way of assessing yourself, your ways of working and how you study. Self reflection is like looking into a mirror and describing what you see.
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